Getting By, by sadtomato
Summary: Edward and Bella are gone, their families left to deal with crushing grief in their absence. The Cullens have moved away, but Carlisle comes back to Forks to check on Charlie and prevent another tragedy . Grief/Loss. M for Mature Themes but not Lemony.
Carlisle and Charlie certainly isn’t a pairing I’d go looking for by choice. But Getting By is written by sadtomato, and sadtomato is one of those rare AH authors whose fics this anti-AH reader* will run to, no questions asked.
*Yes, I am fully and completely aware that I am a huge hypocrite because I write both AH and also the most bog-standard pairing out there next to E/B. But I write other stuff too, so :p
Sadtomato is also an author who is not afraid to write the less popular pairings either.
But I’m getting distracted. Yes, Carlisle and Charlie is a pairing with great potential for squick. sadtomato does it in a way that makes sense in the slightly altered universe she creates.
Getting By is not a story about sex. It’s a story about grief. About loss, and about dealing with that loss. We get to see both sides of this story. Through Charlie we hear what he believes happened to his daughter and her new husband, and then later, through Carlisle we discover what really happened.
It’s Alice who pushes these two men, who have lost something so similar, together.
The pain each of these men feel is palpable in the way sadtomato writes.
I love this version of Carlisle. He drinks with Charlie and admits his family is not okay. He admits that he, himself is not okay. And he says ‘fuck’ 🙂
Vampires can’t get drunk, but by acting that way he loses his inhibitions and allows himself to not be the strong one for a change.
When Carlisle climbs into Bella’s bed in search of the last trace of Edward, I felt his loss keenly.
I lift up the comforter, exposing sheets that haven’t been changed in two years, and I find exactly what I’m looking for.
Edward. It smells like Edward in here. The sheets, and especially the pillow. I crawl on my hands and knees into the bed and bury my face in the bedding, breathing him in. Somehow I end up curled up on my side, clutching the pillow to my face and trying to inhale every trace of Edward’s scent.
This is all that’s left. All that remains, after we cleaned out the house on the Island and moved out of the house in Forks. We still have some of his things-the ones Rosalie didn’t burn-but we’ve all handled them so much that they don’t really smell like Edward anymore.
This is all that I have. And I know it will dissipate now, especially since I’ve disturbed the bedding. I know that someday Charlie willcome in here and clean things out, or he’ll sell the house and someone else will do it.
This is my only chance. I hold the pillow tighter, gasping and taking great, heaving breaths. I miss him so much. He was my brother, my friend, myson, and I’ll never see him again. He just left me without giving me a chance to say goodbye.
I lie there for hours, just breathing.
I tell myself I’ll get up when I’ve had enough, but I realize around two in the morning that I’ll never have enough. I whisper my goodbyes to the last trace of Edward left on Earth-I tell him that I miss him, and I’m sorry, and I love him.
Awwwww 😦 Stop me before I get all gushy about Edward and Carlisle 😉
So why does this qualify as a slash story? Because when Carlisle wakes Charlie from a nightmare, they take comfort in each other. It’s not graphic, it’s not romantic. It’s desperate and confusing and scary and you grit your teeth and feel kind of mortified for Carlisle and what is happening to him.
The desperation and surrender with which these two men come together is ridiculously hot. And even though they only have one orgasm between them and no clothing is ever removed, this is easily one of the most erotic sex scenes I’ve read in twislash.
It’s hot, and it’s real, and it fits. It’s not a sex scene slotted into a story for kicks. This gritty realness gives me story orgasms. True story. (Not really, but you know what I mean.) sadtomato never steps past the point of believability. This is something I strive for in my own stories, something I expect from the fics I read. Possibility. Authenticity. Reality. sadtomato brings us such an unlikely pairing and makes it completely believable.
One of the most interesting things sadtomato does in this story is the way she deals with bloodlust. This here is why I’m into vampfic. The desire of a vampire for the blood of his human lover is the very basis for Twilight and so many other vampire/human romances. It’s why I love the vampire genre, and it is the thing I hope to find in any vampire/human pairing. And I was very pleased to find it here where with Carlisle as a character it had to be handled well (or not at all).
I’m so glad sadtomato wrote a vampfic because she is truly one of my favourite twific authors and I’m so pleased to be able to write a VampSlash review on one of her works. I’m hoping like hell she decides to write some more vampfic in the future.
For the Halloween Fest, perhaps? How’s that for a challenge? 😉