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Review: The Missing One by ICMezzo

The Missing One by ICMezzo

Summary: Carlisle got home from the hospital, he toed off his shoes, draped his jacket over the top of his favorite chair, then went upstairs to wait. Vamp. AU.

This was written for the VampSlash Halloween Fest, and the first time I read it I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. So, naturally, I read it again. And again. I probably read this 5 or 6 times when it originally posted, and then again when ICMezzo posted it on FFn. (And again just before writing this review.) Every time, I’ve been left with that heart ripped out of your chest pain, longing, sense of loss.

The Missing One is just over 1000 words long, but each sentence is packed with such emotion. The story captures mere minutes in one of Carlisle’s days, but it’s painfully obvious that the event stays with him always. While Carlisle is waiting, even though you (the reader) don’t know what he’s waiting for, you can feel its absence. Carlisle has suffered a great loss and continues to suffer for it.

A promise broken cannot be unbroken and this is the pain Carlisle must endure for his mistake.

ICMezzo is a brilliant writer who understands the economy of words, and not one word is wasted in this story. I won’t quote anything in this review because I don’t want to spoil it, but give the story a chance. It’s a quick read that won’t let you go.

 
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Posted by on March 8, 2012 in Reviews, Vamp Slash

 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Halloween Fest: The Missing One

Author: ICMezzo
Pairing/MC: Carlisle
Genre(s): AU, vamp, general
Wordcount: 1125
Prompt/recipient: N/A
Rating: T
Warnings:
Summary: Carlisle got home from the hospital, he toed off his shoes, draped his jacket over the top of his favorite chair, then went upstairs to wait.
Disclaimer:
All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc., mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without express authorization.

The Missing One

When Carlisle got home from the hospital, he toed off his shoes, draped his jacket over the top of his favorite chair, then went upstairs to wait.

He decided to relax. A warm bath would do nicely and he still had plenty of time before… before.

He gathered just enough candles to sufficiently light the bathroom, then drew the water into the tub. Shedding his clothing in a pile on the floor, he stepped into the water and sat down, the delicious wet heat slipping against his pale skin, warming his body, and slowly seeping all the way into his bones. He leaned back, and resting his head against the edge of the bath, closed his eyes and let his mind drift.

His mind returned again and again to churn over what was to come.

But warm bathwater did that, Carlisle mused. It lulled you into such a state that your mental faculties were weakened, and the barriers you’d built slipped unnoticed down the drain.

Perhaps a bath hadn’t been a good idea. He sighed and opened his eyes. Lifting a hand from the water, he ran it through his hair and blinked in the candlelight. Perhaps candles hadn’t been a good idea either. Their soft flickering light almost gave matters an air of legitimacy Carlisle wished they didn’t possess.

After all, the first time, he’d been scared—to think, a vampire, scared!—but even if he’d gotten used to the visits now, they still unnerved him a little.

It happened every year at this time, late September, when the weather had a chill in the air and the leaves on the trees showed inclination of changing. Carlisle could hear the wind whistling outside. Not in a blatant howling sort of way… nothing so obvious as that, but simply unsettled air, dancing through the treetops, and creeping through the cracks of his windows and beneath his doors.

A phantom chill ran down his spine, and he dropped lower into the steamy bathwater.

Last year, September 24 had fallen on a Monday. This year, a Thursday. The first time, it had been a Wednesday. Carlisle supposed the day of the week didn’t matter very much, but his mind recalled every single detail, whether he wanted it to or not.

He slipped his toes out of the water and wiggled them a bit with the perfect control he’d now known for centuries. Were vampires lucky to experience years and years beyond their rightful share? He hadn’t been sure in the beginning. Over the centuries, however, he’d become more and more grateful for all the time that he had.

With that thought, Carlisle decided it was time to get dressed again for his…visitor. He cleared his throat, and stood up to let the excess water drip from his frame before grasping a nearby towel and stepping from the bath. Wrapping it around himself, he drained the water, gathered his discarded clothing, and headed the necessary few steps into his bedroom. He pulled on his pajama bottoms and a light shirt and wrapped himself in his robe before locating his slippers, supposing his ensemble to be decent enough under the circumstances. After toweling his hair dry, he hung it back in the bathroom, and finally sat down on the edge of his bed to wait.

He studied the floor at his feet. Listened to the wind. Watched as the lights of an automobile brightened the walls of his dark room before fading away again.

Vampires did a lot of waiting, he’d learned. He fell back to the bed and studied the ceiling, relaxing as much as he was able to there on his soft maroon bedspread, dressed in his navy robe and fuzzy slippers.

He felt like another year had gone by when he finally heard the soft voice from the foot of the bed.

Carlisle sat up abruptly to gaze at the pale form, as pale as his own, but possessing a translucency impossible for any vampire. For any living thing, really.

It was the same figure that visited him every year on this night, on the anniversary of Carlisle’s mistake, though truth be told, he crept into Carlisle’s thoughts far more often than that.

“Carlisle Cullen,” the transparent boy—well, young man—said, his voice calm and sure. “My mother wishes me to remind you once again that promises are not to be broken.”

“I know,” Carlisle whispered. “I’m sorr—”

“And that a man is merely as good as his word,” the boy continued.

“Yes,” Carlisle replied frantically, getting to his feet. “I know. I’m so sorr—”

“And that,” the boy paused as Carlisle went to him and attempted to grasp him, his arms moving smoothly through what should have been the boy’s chest, forcing Carlisle to admit efforts to hold the boy were futile.

“And that,” the boy said again when Carlisle stepped back, stricken, “if you had wanted to see me more often, you should have thought of that before.”

The boy promptly faded into wisps of white, dissolving into the air like the steam from Carlisle’s bath.

“Edward!” Carlisle gasped at the nothingness where the young man had stood. “Come back. Please! I’ll do anything!”

Edward never did, though, not until the same day the following year, a shadow with a message of what could have been.

A door slammed below, startling Carlisle.

The soft feminine voice of his wife called to him from downstairs. She was home from her meeting then. He supposed Emmett and Rosalie would be back soon from their movie as well. And Alice and Jasper would probably return at some point, though they might have gone hunting, as Jasper was still struggling a bit with his diet.

The house would soon be filled with chatter and laughter and love as everyone gathered that evening. He’d only made his mistake once, after all. The other times, he had done what he had to do, and as a result, a cluster of vampires surrounded him, forming his dear family.

But still, he couldn’t help but know that his family was incomplete. And so, until the following September, on a cool night as dark as this one, he’d spend quiet moments haunted by the missing one.

 
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Posted by on October 31, 2011 in Halloween Fest

 

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Halloween Fest: Once then Always

Author: avioleta
Pairing/MC: Carlisle/Alec
Genre(s): Canon (post-BD); vampslash; angst
Wordcount: 7400
Prompt/recipient: Prompt #11, Inebriation (for vampireisthenewblack)
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: explicit m/m sex and a bit of blood; please consider the pairing before reading. Alec is older yet physically younger than Carlisle. Not technically underage, but could be considered offensive nonetheless.
Summary: “What are you doing here?” The boy grins. “Come now, Carlisle, don’t you know your ghosts always find you on All Hallows’ Eve?”
Disclaimer:
The characters aren’t mine. The words are. Please heed the warnings and rating. I mean it.

Once then Always

Carlisle stares down into the dark crimson liquid. In the dim light of the room, it almost looks like blood. Almost.

He bites back a laugh. Perhaps it’s time to feed.

He takes a slow sip, allowing the flavors to roll across his tongue. Though the wine is thin and cheap (they serve nothing else in this place), it is still earthy, peppery, and smooth. He enjoys the pleasant burn of the alcohol as it warms his throat, his belly.

Esme would be appalled. But then she never understood his vices.

He drains the glass and signals the bartender for another, wishing (just for once) he could be drunk, that the alcohol would cloud his too-perfect mind, would make him forget, would make him numb. But, of course, the blood in his veins is not his own, and no amount of wine or whiskey will pollute it.

He sighs; the dark wine shimmers in the flickering light, casts a thin shadow on the table.

Some nights, he actually wants them to find him.

It would be a fitting punishment for his crime, really. And then there would be no more running. No more wondering when.

He doesn’t sleep, but he still has nightmares. Sometimes he doesn’t even have to close his eyes.

He sees Aro’s eyes, looking up at him. They are pale and bloodied and always softly accusatory. He’d been shocked at first, but then his thin lips curved into a sickening and knowing smile. ‘Of course, Carlisle, my child’ he whispered (as hands closed around his neck) ‘You must protect your own.’

Other times he sees his family. The little girl, still clutched in Bella’s arms. Esme, eyes wide, a pale hand over her mouth. And Edward. Always Edward, resigned and tired (more tired than he’s ever seen him), hand on his wife’s back as he nods. ‘Of course, you must go. We’ll see you again soon.’ He’d smiled that easy smile then, though they both knew it might be for the last time.

No. He shakes his head, presses his palm to the worn surface of the bar. It had to happen. It was the only way. After all, he never had a choice.

He wants a cigarette but is certain the bartender won’t allow it, even in a place as sordid as this.

He thinks about the miracle that is his child. He hates that she will grow up (too quickly, it seems), and he will not be there to see it. She will know what he did (for her, for her mother, her father), but she will not know him.

Minutes pass. The bartender checks his watch, wipes down the counter with a grimy rag. The bar is relatively empty at this hour.

He hears him approach and sets his glass down carefully. His breath catches. Perhaps, finally… But no. The boy is alone. Carlisle purses his lips, as he takes the seat beside him. He refuses to look, refuses to acknowledge his presence. Instead, he takes another sip of wine.

The small vampire watches him for several minutes. Carlisle can feel his eyes on him, searing and hot on his skin. He exhales a shaky breath but does not turn his head.

“Why do you do this?” the boy asks after several long moments, motioning toward the glass in Carlisle’s hand. Full lips curl in distaste. “It can’t actually be pleasurable, can it?”

Carlisle shrugs, leans forward to rest his elbows on the bar.

“I mean, the blood in your system is not actually your blood,” the boy continues, “so the alcohol can’t affect you.” His voice rings with such conviction that Carlisle nearly laughs. Of course, he would never understand, but he looks at Carlisle, hands folded primly on his lap, and it is clear he expects a response.

“I appreciate the aesthetics,” he offers vaguely, twisting the stem of his glass between pale fingers.

The boy rolls his eyes. “You were never one for practicality, were you Carlisle?”

He shrugs again. “What are you doing here?”

Alec grins, pink lips curving to reveal perfect white teeth. “Come now, don’t you know your ghosts always find you on All Hallows’ Eve?”

Carlisle narrows his eyes; he doesn’t want to play this game. He’s known the child for nearly the entirety of his immortal life, and he still has trouble reading him. Alec’s expression softens slightly. He almost looks contrite. He reaches a hand out as if to touch Carlisle’s arm but thinks better of it and quickly tucks it back between his knees.

“What are you doing here?” Carlisle repeats. His voice is cold and rather harsh, but he doesn’t care. Not really.

The boy bites his lips; for a moment he looks unsure. “I had to see that you were safe.”

His honesty startles Carlisle. He turns to look at him.

The boy glances down; wisps of reddish hair fall into his face. Carlisle resists the urge to brush them off his forehead. He swallows thickly. “Now you have.” He picks up his wineglass again; the black red liquid glints against the curve of his palm. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“Why did you do it?” Alec asks suddenly; his voice is very small.

Carlisle says nothing. He knows the boy is grieving. He’d known Aro longer (and more intimately, perhaps) than even he had. After all, Aro had sired Alec and his twin.

The boy breathes out slowly, watching him, unnatural eyes dark. His hands, graceful, elegant, and small are clutched so tightly together that his knuckles are white. “You foolish fucking bastard,” his mouth twists savagely, a sneer marring his delicate features.

Carlisle hides his flinch; it always surprises him to hear such obscenities slip easily from Alec’s childish tongue.

His eyes flash dangerously. “It was for him, wasn’t it?”

“It hardly matters now.”

The boy inhales sharply. It’s clear he’s struggling to maintain his composure. “But it doesmatter.” Petulance and something else entirely bleeds into his voice. “They’ll find you.”

Carlisle takes the last sip of wine. “It doesn’t matter. It was the only choice.”

Alec looks as though he might protest but says nothing. Instead stares moodily across the bar. Colorful bottles line the glass shelves along the wall (cerulean blues, jewel toned greens, and golden yellows).

Carlisle sighs. Sometimes he wonders if he did the right thing, if it really were his only choice. But it’s far too late to change anything now.

Aro is dead. He is responsible.

“Did her shields actually work?” he asks after a long moment. “Were you really unable to get through?”

The boy shrugs thin shoulders but does not respond.

“Alec?” he prompts. He needs to know.

“There were cracks…” he trails off, pale fingers picking at the sleeve of his sweater, and he leans forward again, hair obscuring his eyes.

Carlisle waits for him to continue, but he does not.

“If Bella’s shields did not work, why did you encourage Aro to stop the attack?”

The boy looks up at him scathingly, as though the answer should be obvious. “Because it wasn’t worth it. It wasn’t worth you.” The last is said in a hissed whisper, a soft exhale of sound that Carlisle almost doesn’t hear.

Something warm unfurls in the pit of his stomach (like alcohol, like blood).

“Besides,” Alec says then, eyes fixed on his, “the child was innocent. She did not deserve to die.”

Carlisle nods, sliding his thumb along the lip of his wineglass. He can’t help but worry about his family, hope that they are still safe, alive. But he has to think that they are. After all, they are the reason he has condemned himself to this life of exile, of fear.

But he hasn’t spoken to anyone in seven months. He doesn’t even know where they are.

“Why did you leave them?” the boy asks. And though his eyes betray nothing, his tone gives too much away.

Carlisle answers truthfully (doing his best to choke back the sudden rush of grief). “I had to.” He’s said it so many times by now, he almost believes it.

Alec nods, pushes a strand of unruly hair behind his ear. “You protect them. You always have.”

“Marcus and Caius would have targeted them,” Carlisle says, “just for being with me.” He sighs and turns toward the boy beside him. “You know that. Now, though, I have to believe that they will be spared because I am no longer there.”

The boy nods again but says nothing. He rests an elbow on the bar-top but immediately jerks back again, a positively horrified expression on his face. He tentatively touches one fingertip to the counter. “It’s…sticky.” He looks at Carlisle as if it’s somehow his fault.

Frankly, Carlisle is rather impressed that the child has sat here this long. His tastes are absurdly aristocratic. Alec tugs his arms to his chest and looks around, as if he’s only now noticing his surroundings.

The bartender emerges from the back storeroom, a case of beer in his arms. He sets it down on the counter with a grunt and then glances down the bar at Carlisle and Alec. His eyes widen in shock, but then his expression darkens.

He lumbers toward them, wiping thick hands on a dish towel.

Carlisle closes his eyes; he knows what’s coming.

The man’s nostrils flare. “Now I don’t know what you’re playing at, but he can’t be in here.”

Alec sighs loudly; Carlisle thinks he does exasperation quite well.

“Oh, dostop worrying,” he says, boyish tongue dripping with condescension. “I doubt I’ll be drinking any of what you have to offer.” With this, he lets his eyes slip appraisingly over the man’s chest before they flicker back to his face.

Carlisle knows the exact instant the man notices (a sharp intake of breath, a step backward). His back hits the cabinet behind him; his heart is beating too fast (a thrum of blood in Carlisle’s ears).

Alec sits perfectly still, red eyes unblinking. Then he smiles. His teeth are far too white and far too straight.

Carlisle watches him closely. Though he doesn’t believe the boy will do anything foolish, he knows all too well what he is capable of.

The man gasps; he’s gone rather pale. “I…I don’t know who yeh think you are, but I’m telling you, if you don’t leave now, I’m gonna have to throw you out.” His voice is choked; his hands clutch the countertop.

Alec laughs, a childishly clear sound that is positively chilling. “I think not,” he says calmly, cocking his head to the side. “In fact—”

Carlisle places a hand on his arm, and the boy stops. He looks down, brow furrowing as if in confusion. “Oh…okay.” He looks at Carlisle again. “Perhaps we should take this elsewhere.”

He stands. Carlisle pulls a twenty-pound note from his pocket, slides it across bar. The bartender hasn’t moved. But when Carlisle places a hand on the small of Alec’s back, guides him toward the door, he hears the man exhale, “fucking pervert…freaks is what you are.

Alec stiffens, starts to turn around, but Carlisle’s fingers tense against his back. “No.” And the boy nods once. Carlisle knows he won’t be able to return, but it hardly matters now, not since the boy’s found him.

Though the man (wisely) says nothing else, Carlisle can practically hear his disgust as they slip outside and into the cool night air. But he doesn’t care. They rent rooms by the hour next door, and he’s quite certain the man has seen worse than whatever he expects Carlisle is taking the boy off to do.

“How did you find me?” he asks as Alec hurries to match his longer strides.

“Oh please,” he rolls his eyes. “If Marcus and Caius knew how predictable you were, you’d be dead already.”

Carlisle shrugs. He’s probably right.

He’s staying in a rundown motel three blocks away. The building is squat and decrepit (nearly as wide as it is tall). It is not a place he would have ever considered going near before. But, of course, things are different now.

Streetlamps cast an orange glow on the slick pavement; Alec shoves his hands in his pockets and follows Carlisle inside.

The foyer is as dingy as the building’s exterior. The once black and white tiled floor is gray with years’ of dirt and dust and grime. A single bulb flickers in the fixture overhead, bathing the small entryway in sickly pale light. The night attendant behind the counter does not look up from his tabloid.

It’s for the best.

Carlisle ushers the boy past, and they ascend the narrow stairs quickly. Alec keeps his arms pulled tight to his thin chest as if terrified that some of the squalor might rub off on his person.

Carlisle chuckles. “It’s not contagious, you know.”

The boy raises an eyebrow skeptically. “I’m not entirely certain about that.” His pink lips curl as the reach the third floor landing.

Carlisle is quite sure he doesn’t want to know what has stained the carpet.

“You certainly know how to pick a lodging,” Alec scoffs, “don’t you?” He sounds as though he’s holding his breath (he might well be). Carlisle wouldn’t blame him.

His room is on the fourth floor. They pause as Carlisle digs in his pocket for the key. Alec glances down the dim hallway (arms still wrapped round his chest). The carpet was once white perhaps, but after years of neglect it’s soiled, threadbare, and stained.

He pushes the door open and flicks on the light. A single lamp illuminates the room. The shade is cracked and faded. He tosses his keys and wallet on the dresser and turns back to the boy. Alec is still hovering just inside the door, assessing the surroundings critically.

“What are you doing here?” he asks after a few moments. His lips press together, and his fingers tug at the sleeves of his jumper. He clearly believes that such appalling conditions should be enough to make Carlisle stop running, to hand himself over to Marcus and Caius, to whatever punishment they devise.

“You already know why I’m here, Alec.”

“But surely you can afford much better.” He traces a semi-circle on the floor with the tip of his shoe. “I was under the impression that your family was quite wealthy.”

Carlisle bites back a laugh. The Volturi, of course, have the means to ascertain exactly how much the Cullens have in their accounts at any given time. That is one reason he chooses not to access his funds. “I’d rather not aid them in their search,” he responds simply. “Money leaves a trail.”

The boy scrunches up his nose as though he’s smelled something foul. (He might have.) “But surely you can maintain a level of discretion without living in some sort of…” his eyes dart around quickly, “of hovel.”

Carlisle doesn’t respond. The boy wouldn’t understand anyway. He stands there, fingers curled in the hem of his sweater, watching him.

“Why did you do it?” Alec finally says, repeating the same question he’s already asked. He reaches out hesitantly to touch a fingertip to the peeling floral printed wallpaper, making no attempt to mask his distaste.

Carlisle wants to laugh. The boy has never been anything but horribly spoiled. He shrugs. He already answered this question. “I had to.” He doesn’t want to have this conversation again. He doesn’t want to talk about Aro. Not now. Not ever. And certainly not with Alec.

“But you didn’t,” the boy says, and his voice catches slightly. He glances down at the greasy carpet and, for a moment, he looks so young. Carlisle almost feels sorry for him.

“I did.”

“No…no,” his voice breaks again, and he closes his eyes, sucks in a ragged breath, tries to compose himself. “He was stopping. You’d won.” His voice is soft, broken. All at once, he sounds as young as he looks, and Carlisle’s chest aches just a little.

“You know as well as I do,” Carlisle says softly, taking one step toward him, “he does not stop…would not stop.”

Alec looks up, his expression is pained, but he says nothing.

Carlisle continues, “he conceded the battle, but he does not give up that easily. He would have come back.” He takes another step, reaches out, drags a finger along the boy’s jaw. “It was never over.”

“I…” Alec stops, eyes fluttering closed. “I hate that he’s gone.”

“I know.”

“You loved him.”

Carlisle nods. “In a way, yes. But there was no other choice.”

The boy does not open his eyes. “I hate that.”

“I know.”

Alec stands perfectly still; Carlisle slides a hand down his arm. “He was mad.”

“I know.”

“They did not deserve to die.”

Alec catches Carlisle’s hand in his; his thumb traces a circle on the back of his wrist. “I know.” He looks up again, red eyes dark and dangerous. “But I hate that you did it for him.”

“For all of them.”

The boy shrugs. “For him…and his wife and his child.”

“They did not deserve to die,” Carlisle repeats.

Alec bites his lip (pink flesh caught between perfect white teeth). “No. But neither do you.”

Carlisle says nothing. He holds the boy’s gaze firmly in his own.

“I don’t want to lose you too,” Alec whispers after several long moments. His chin trembles slightly. Carlisle wants to cup it between his hands.

“You won’t.”

“Marcus and Caius—”

“Will tire of this chase eventually. They will return to Volterra. They will forget about me.”

Alec nods but does not look convinced.

Carlisle takes off his coat and lays it carefully over the back of the room’s only chair. The boy watches him closely. He hasn’t moved.

“I still can’t believe he’s gone,” Alec says after a long moment. He rocks back and forth on the balls of his feet and licks his lips; he presses his knuckles to his mouth. “Oh God, Carlisle… Why did you do it?” He whispers the words, and then there are hands on his shoulders, pushing and pulling, and teeth at his neck, sharp and painful. “Why did you do it?” he says again, and his voice is cold and harsh but tinged with something heartbreaking and desperate.

“You ruined everything,” Alec half cries, half sobs against his throat. And then his tongue is there, licking a line up Carlisle’s jaw. “How could you?”

Carlisle’s hands tremble as they settle on the boy’s waist, large and heavy and awkward as Alec quakes against him, breath ragged and wet against his skin. “Don’t you know how much I needed him? How much I need you?”

“I know. I know,” he gasps out, fingers smoothing over the boy’s forehead, pushing ridiculous lovely red blond bronze hair out of his eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…”

And the boy kisses him, clumsy and needy and more teeth than lips or tongues.

“Oh…oh God…” Carlisle wrenches himself away, breathless and shaking and lost, lost.

“Are you…are you all right?” Alec asks. His hands are tugging at Carlisle’s top button, and then his mouth is pressing hot kisses along his collarbone.

And no, no he’s notall right because this thin slip of a boy never fails to devastate him. “We can’t. We shouldn’t.” But Alec is grinding helplessly against him, and he can feel his cock, hard and young and moving, moving against his thigh.

“Yes, yes we…oh fuck…” the boy hisses, hips still rocking. “Do you—”

No. He doesn’t. He can’t, but he’s dry mouthed and aching, and his fingers dig into the perfect curve of the boy’s arse, holding him closer as he continues to grind and grind against him.

“Beautiful,” Carlisle breathes, and he is surprised his mouth has managed to form the word. “You’ve always been beautiful.”

And the boy is still (still) moving, small hands clutching tightly at his arms, untidy head thrown back, pink lips parted softly. “Car— Carlisle…oh, oh God,” and at the feel of warm wetness against his thigh, Carlisle has to bite his lip to keep from coming in his trousers like a teenager, like Alec, shuddering against him.

“Oh…oh,” the boy is still moaning, as he trembles, boneless and weak-kneed in the aftershocks of his orgasm.

And Carlisle can’t stop touching him (though he shouldn’t…he shouldn’t). But his fingers smooth over round, flushed cheeks, trace the pale column of his lovely neck, slide down thinly muscled arms to lace their fingers together.

“What are you doing here?” Carlisle asks the question this time — once he can think, once he can breathe, once he can speak again.

“I told you,” the boy sighs, “I needed to know that you were safe.”

“And that information is readily available to you.” Carlisle’s voice is thick and rough. “You will surely know the moment I am captured. Until then, it would be reasonable to assume I am safe.”

“Yes. But that’s not quite the same now, is it?” Alec is still touching him, fingers curling around his wrist to stroke smooth skin underneath the sleeve of his shirt. “I’ve missed you.”

These last words are barely spoken (a whisper, a faint huff of sound). Carlisle is not sure he’s actually heard them, but something flashes in the boy’s eyes, and Carlisle recognizes it instantly, knows he’s heard correctly.

Alec’s expression changes again. The boy’s moods are mercurial at best. But then again, children are rarely known for consistency. His lovely terrifying eyes darken slightly; it makes Carlisle’s stomach twist and his cock throb (don’t come, don’t come). He doesn’t let go of the boy.

He should pull away. He should not let this happen again (not now, not ever). Still, he can’t help but cling to the small body (like ivy, like vines).

It’s wrong. It’s beyond sinful. (Another reason among a thousand why he’s surely damned.) The boy is a child, despite how long he’s been that way. And Carlisle shouldn’t want what he wants.

He swallows thickly. “You shouldn’t be here.”

But Alec tugs Carlisle’s hand to his waist, and he can feel firm muscles slide under his palm. The boy leans in, and he can feel warm cold breath ghost across his neck. It’s familiar and intoxicating, as Alec’s mouth brushes over his.

Once. Twice.

He pulls back slightly and can feel the boy’s mouth on his cheek, and that simple sensation draws forth a multitude of memories he’s tried hard to suppress. They skip across his mind like stones, some smooth, some jagged cutting and sharp, but all brilliant (like a spark of flint on rock, hot and hard and shining).

His chest is too tight; it shouldn’t be this difficult to breathe.

“Stop,” Alec whispers. “I know what you’re thinking. And we’ve been over it before.”

“I can’t. We shouldn’t.”

“Yes, we should.” He laces his fingers through Carlisle’s again. “You weren’t even my first. You know this.” Alec never fails to bring this up, and Carlisle is not sure if he means to reassure or simply make him jealous. If it’s the latter, he’s successful.

“I don’t know why you continue to beat yourself up over it, over wanting me,” he continues, thumb stroking along the back of Carlisle’s hand; he closes his eyes. “After all we’ve done. After all this time.” This is whispered, a gust of breath against Carlisle’s neck, and the boy pulls his hand to press against the front of his trousers, damp and sticky, and oh, oh God.

He remembers their first time perfectly (memories mirror sharp, crystal clear) just as his flawless mind recalls every time since. He’d hated himself for wanting him. Hated the boy for wanting him, for letting him touch him taste him tease him fuck him. And he hated even more that he hadn’t been the first to do those decadent delicious depraved things to him.

“I’m glad he’ll never touch you again,” he gasps, capturing the boy’s mouth in a brutal kiss. “No one else should touch you.”

Alec’s breath hitches as the possessiveness in his tone, but still the boy whispers into his mouth, “come now, Carlisle, you know Aro would have never touched me unless I wanted it.”

“I know. And I will always hate him for it.”

The boy’s forehead creases. “Yes, but you have me now.”

Carlisle sucks in a breath and can’t help but want want… He swallows thickly, and Alec tugs his hands to his waist, settle his hands on Carlisle’s hips, thumbs pushing at the waistband of his trousers.

And they’re kissing. (Alec’s mouth is soft and sweet and achingly familiar.) Teeth scrape against lips, and Carlisle’s hand smoothes over the curve of the boy’s arse, tugs him closer. The other curls around the boy’s neck, palm warm against smooth skin; his fingers thread through bronze hair, as Alec lifts his face up for another kiss.

Carlisle is not tall (Edward is taller…), but Alec is (will always be) a head shorter. Still, he seems to fit perfectly against him. His palm smoothes down the boy’s spine, slips under his sweater so fingers can splay across his back. And he always knows, despite wanting to forget, exactly how the boy feels against him – the soft expanse of skin, the narrow jut of hips, the press of a thigh between his.

Their tongues slide together, slow and soft, and Carlisle remembers exactly how he tastes (as if it’s been minutes, not weeks, months, years). Alec’s arms are around his waist, and they stumble together until they’re on the narrow bed. The coverlet is scratchy and no doubt filthy, but he doesn’t care because the boy’s legs are around his waist; his heels dig into his thighs. Red eyes look up at him hotly.

Carlisle cups his face between his hands, mouth moving against his as they kiss and kiss again.

Alec pulls away, sits up long enough to tug his sweater over his head, toss it onto the floor. His hair is mussed. A reddish blond strand sticks to the corner of his mouth. Carlisle brushes it away. The boy’s lips are wet, already red and swollen, and his cheeks are flushed (a lovely pretty pink).

Carlisle exhales shakily, as small fingers undo the last of his buttons, push his shirt off his shoulders.

His tongue slides along Alec’s lips, skims across his teeth, drags over his throat, as he rolls his hips into the boy’s. He can feel him hot and hard (again) against his thigh and shifts his hips, presses down against that hardness, gasps as their cocks slide together again and again.

Alec rolls them over. Carlisle likes how strong he is. A benefit of his particular diet, but it makes him think, perhaps, that he’s not so young.

The boy sits up on his knees; the zip of his trousers strains against the swell of his cock. Carlisle licks his lips, his fingers already pulling at his belt while Alec’s hands slide down his chest, tug his shirt out of his pants.

Palms skate over his abdomen, cause Carlisle to shiver, suck in a breath.

“Alec,” he gasps, rocking his hips underneath the boy’s.

“Missed you,” the not child says, leaning down to lick to the corner of his mouth. “It’s been too long.”

“I hate wanting you like I do,” Carlisle admits, hand brushing over Alec’s cheek. He can’t stop shaking.

His usually so steady hands fumble with the boy’s flies, push apart the plackets of his trousers. Dark wool frames the wet white of his pants.

Carlisle can see the smooth pink red curve of cockhead peeking over the waistband. Alec grabs his hand, pushes his palm down to his arousal. They both groan as he grinds against their fingers. Carlisle slides his thumb down the line of his erection, warm and hard through thin cotton.

Alec arches his back, pushes hips forward into the press of his hand. “Please,” he breathes.

Carlisle slides his trousers and pants down, and Alec kicks them off as Carlisle’s fingers slip over the curve of a narrow thigh. “Yes. Touch me.”

His throat is dry as his hands pluck at buttons, yank at the boy’s shirt. It hangs off his shoulders, the tails fall open over Carlisle’s lap as Alec straddles him. Carlisle shifts his hips and cannot remember how to breathe.

“Touch me,” the boy says again, head falling back, red lips parting. Carlisle slides a hand down his chest, fingers brushing over a hard pink nipple. Alec bites his lip, curves his spine (a half moon-shaped arch). His cock is small and flushed against his stomach. Carlisle leans up, presses a breathless kiss to his forehead, his shoulder (yes, oh yes…).

He swirls his tongue in the shell of the boy’s ear. He’s aching, desperate and the boy’s fingers are there, sliding his zip down, slipping a warm palm in to curl around his prick.

He hisses, arches up, and the boy bends over, presses his mouth to the tip of his cock. Carlisle gasps, as his perfect tongue licks around the head, slides down the shaft, and then curls around him, wet and warm. “God, yes…more” he moans, bucking up, fingers twisting in the boy’s bronze blond hair. And he hates that he wants the boy to suck him, to make him come, and he hates it even more that the boy’s done this to someone else…that he’s not the only one.

He was not the boy’s first. No. Aro took care of that. But Alec was his. His first (his only), but the boy doesn’t know, will never know.

The boy is gorgeous as he licks Carlisle’s cock, wet tongue sliding along the underside, swirling around the head before his mouth opens, swallows him again. Carlisle traces the hollows of his cheeks with trembling fingers, and Alec sucks him slowly, lips sliding up and down until he hits the back of his throat (but he doesn’t gag).

Carlisle’s hips jerk up; he can’t help himself, and suddenly he knows he’s about to come.

The boy pulls back, letting his cock slide out of his mouth with a soft pop. “I want you to fuck me,” he breathes, and Carlisle inhales shakily, presses himself up on his palms, and kisses him. He can taste himself on the boy’s lips, musky and thick and aroused.

“Do you have anything?” Alec asks, arching his back, pushing his hips against Carlisle’s.

“In the bag,” he gasps, as the boy bends over, fumbles beneath the bed for the small vial of oil. His fingers shake a bit as he uncaps the bottle. It spills over his fingers, runs down his hand. He reaches down between his legs, smoothes small fingers over his opening. Carlisle hisses at the sight, watches as the boy pushes one fingertip inside.

“God, yes…” he groans, hand curling round his own cock. “Get yourself ready for me.”

“You like this, don’t you?” the boy asks, head thrown back, fingers pressing, pushing, slipping inside his body.

“Yes…yes.”

“What do you want, Carlisle?” he whispers, fingers fucking himself slowly. “Tell me what you want.”

Carlisle holds his breath. He slides his hands down slender arms. He loves the play of muscle under too smooth skin. Alec’s lovely body had only just begun to fill out all those many ages ago when he was turned. And Carlisle hates that he loves, wants, needsthis body (forever caught between adolescence and adulthood).

“I want you to ride my cock.” He laces his fingers through the boy’s, slicks his hand with oil. The boy shudders, gasps at his words. (Sometimes Carlisle pretends he’s innocent, pretends he hasn’t had all this before.)

He slides his now slick hand along his aching cock, smoothing his palm over the head, then he grasps the boy’s hips, holds him still, and Alec reaches between them to line himself up. Slowly, slowly, he lowers himself down, and Carlisle inhales shakily, slowly as the boy slides down, inch by inch.

Finally he seats himself, splays his knees wide, and Carlisle can’t help but roll his hips, close his eyes.

“Oh…oh God,” Alec breathes, throwing his hands back, bracing himself behind, and he is so tight and warm and young, that Carlisle has to grit his teeth and try, try not to come.

“Fuck…fuck yes…” he gasps, jerking his hips up as the boy moves on top of him. Carlisle hisses, clings to the boy’s waist to hold him still as he thrusts up and up again.

“I thought you wanted me to fuck you,” the boy moans, eyes wide, pupils dilated.

“Yes, please…” he manages, hands falling away.

The boy bites his lip, twists his fingers in the duvet and rises up, knees pressing tight against Carlisle’s thighs. Carlisle moans as Alec pushes down, lifts up again, again.

“You like that, don’t you?” he gasps, rolling his hips, arching up, sliding down over Carlisle’s cock.

“Yes…yes…make me come.” Carlisle is shaking, stomach muscles clenching, and he can’t help but push up against him. He reaches out to curl his fingers around the boy’s lovely cock, but Alec bats his hand away.

“No…no, don’t.” He moves faster, harder, as he lifts his hips and falls again, prick bouncing wetly against his stomach.

Carlisle’s hand clench (nails bite into his palms), his thighs tremble, and he cries out, “I…fuck Alec, oh God…”

He comes hard, mouth open, hips jerking beneath the boy. Alec groans, tensing around him, making Carlisle gasp again. And then he’s coming too, small cock spurting; thick warm strands smear across Carlisle’s stomach, onto his chest. His legs tremble against Carlisle’s sides, and his head falls back (bronze lovely hair slides over his eyes).

The boy slips down against him, languid and spent. His chest heaves and Carlisle smoothes a hand over his back, feeling the slick soft perfect skin under his palm.

“Perfect,” Carlisle breathes. Always perfect.

They lay together for a while. Carlisle’s fingers trace the boy’s ribs, slide across his thin chest.

“I think I could love you,” Alec says, voice soft and smooth, “if I were to love anyone at all.”

Carlisle sucks in a breath. He thinks, perhaps, his heart clenches a little. His heart, damned and useless, quiet, forgotten, cold. But now (perhaps) he thinks he feels it shudder.

He stands up.

The bedsprings groan as the boy rolls over. He props himself on one arm, cheek resting on the palm of his hand. The sheets twist around his hips. He watches Carlisle steadily as he dresses, pulls on his trousers, untangles his shirt from the pile on the floor.

Carlisle lights a cigarette. The tip glows red orange in the dim light of the room. He inhales deeply; smoke coils between his fingers.

“But I’m certain I will never understand you,” the boy says, standing. He lets the sheet fall to the floor. Carlisle takes another deep drag to hide the sharp intake of breath. He really is beautiful.

“That is, perhaps, even more disgusting than your choice of rooms.”

Carlisle inhales again, enjoying the way the smoke burns his throat, his lungs. For a moment, it almost makes him warm (away from the press of the boy’s skin).

Alec frowns, pink swollen lips curling in disgust. “Surely they would not approve.” His words drip with derision. There is little love lost between Alec and the Cullens.

Carlisle doesn’t care. The boy bends at the waist, tugs his pants back on. Carlisle can’t help but notice the way the fabric slides over narrow hips, clings to the curve of his perfect arse. “I do a lot of things my family would not approve of, when I’m away.” He lets his eyes slip down the boy’s still bare chest before tracing a circle around one pink nipple with a fingertip. Alec can’t repress the shudder.

“It’s positively vile. That and the drinking.” His eyes narrow and he steps back slightly, “like some…human.”

Carlisle laughs, a harsh sound, even to his own ears. He holds the cigarette to his lips again and exhales a thin stream of smoke into the boy’s face. Alec coughs then glares at him. Carlisle finds he quite likes the way his small mouth curls in disgust. He takes another long drag before stubbing the cigarette out on the window ledge. The dingy curtains twist in the crisp breeze.

The night is suddenly too quiet.

Carlisle does the last of his buttons and straightens his collar before calmly fastening his cuffs. He sits down on the narrow bed (sheets now rumpled for the first time, since he’s occupied the room) and laces his shoes. “Perhaps you should dress,” he says.

The boy still stands at the window. His trousers are undone, damp and wrinkled. His shirt hangs off narrow shoulders. Alec shrugs, fingering a purpling mark just above his collarbone.

Carlisle smiles at the indentation of teeth. Faint pink scratches crisscross the pale planes of the boy’s flat stomach and disappear beneath the fabric of his shirt.

“I think they know,” he smiles a bit wistfully, fingers tracing a line along the dusty windowsill. “You have never been able to resist me, after all.”

Carlisle laughs, slips the last of his few personal items into the small duffel bag he carries. “No, I suppose not.”

Alec cocks his head to one side, blond bronze hair sliding into his eyes. “Aro used to laugh, you know…” Something painful twists in Carlisle’s gut at the name, but he keeps his expression carefully blank as the boy continues, “he said you picked himbecause his hair was exactly the same shade as mine.”

He says nothing. Even if it were true, he would never admit it. Not out loud at least.

Alec purses pink lips and regards him thoughtfully. “He’s too old, though. You didn’t find him soon enough.”

Carlisle frowns. He’s never liked this line of questioning. “It doesn’t matter.”

“No,” the boy says, red eyes glinting rather maliciously, “I suppose it doesn’t.” He steps closer to Carlisle. Too close.

Even though he’s just come, he can feel his cock swell again. Alec laughs, smoothes small fingers over the noticeable bulge. Carlisle hisses, and the boy tilts his head up to slide his tongue along his jaw. “You’ll never have himthe way you have me,” he whispers, lips against Carlisle’s throat.

“No,” he agrees, clutching at the boy’s hips, pulling him into one more brutal kiss. “I don’t suppose I will.” Carlisle runs a palm down his chest (smooth and hairless and perfect perfect…).

He glances at his watch. “They’re nearly here.” It’s not a question.

The boy is silent for a moment. “I’m sorry, I had to. Jane only let me slip away because she knew I’d come to you.” He ducks his head, face half hidden in shadows.

Carlisle nods, “I know.” His thumb circles the jut of a white hipbone. “I’m glad you found me. But I have to…”

“Yes,” the boy cuts him off. “I know.” He looks up again, leans his head back, exposing the perfect pale column of his neck. “He was young.”

Carlisle runs his tongue along his throat, and the boy gasps. “Not like me, of course. But sweet.” He tangles his fingers in Carlisle’s hair. “I knew you’d like him.”

Carlisle’s mouth is already watering. He has never fed from a human, but he can excuse such a…necessary indulgence.

Alec cries out when his teeth pierce soft skin; his body tenses for an instant, and then he relaxes against him with a sigh. Carlisle shudders at the warm rush of blood over his tongue, in his mouth, as he slits open the vein.

It’s exhilarating and intoxicating and addicting all at once.

The blood is rich and sweet. The boy was right, of course. It is perfect (honey slick, and golden rimmed) as it washes down his throat. Carlisle pulls Alec’s thin body against his; the boy’s lips part, red eyes flutter closed.

Carlisle pulls back, gasping. He’s fully hard again, and Alec slips a hand between them, stroking him slowly. “You do like it,” he says dreamily, eyes opening again. “I knew you would.”

“Of course I do, brat,” he responds softly, affectionately. “How could I not?”

Alec exhales, a gentle puff of air against his throat; his fingers press against Carlisle’s cock through the wool of his trousers. “I knew you would,” Alec repeats, looking up, eyes glassy and bright.

He titles his head to lap at Carlisle’s lips; blood coats his tongue, paints his mouth a cherry red. “It is lovely, isn’t it?” he sighs decadently.

“Yes,” he agrees, hands framing the boy’s face, “as are you.”

“Where will you go?” he whispers against Carlisle’s mouth, voice soft, becomingly slurred.

“Away from London.” He curls his hands around the boy’s slim hips, pulls him impossibly close. “I…”

“Shhh…” Alec presses a finger to his lips, “it’s all right. I don’t really want to know.”

Carlisle nods. “I’ll find you.”

“I know.”

Small fingers curl into Carlisle’s belt loops, and he sighs as Alec slips a thigh between his legs, rubs against him (languidly, catlike). His head lolls slightly, and he smiles lazily.

Carlisle slides his tongue along Alec’s neck, catching the blood that still seeps from two perfectly placed puncture wounds. His skin is soft and creamy smooth (like butter, like milk), and though his round cheeks are flushed (with exertion, with arousal), he is unnaturally pale.

He steps back, willing his breathing to calm, willing his erection away. But it’s futile, of course.

The boy tilts his head, regards Carlisle through half-slitted eyes. “Come now, love. You’re not stopping, are you?” He runs a finger down the side of his neck.

Carlisle’s breath catches. “But you, I…” his tongue stumbles over the words as Alec steps closer again, splays warm palms against Carlisle’s chest.

“I don’t want to take too much.”

“Don’t be absurd.” The boy gives him a withering look. “That israther the point, isn’t it?”

Carlisle hates that he can’t disagree.

The boy smiles sweetly, looping his arms around his waist. Carlisle kisses him, an unhurried slide of lips and tongue. “You have to go soon,” Alec murmurs against his mouth.

“I…I know.” He’s shaking as he sinks his teeth once more into Alec’s young flesh, groaning as warm, sweet thick blood rinses over his tongue (oh, oh God…), and Carlisle knows this is what drunkenness must truly feel like (delicious, unrestrained, divine).

The boy sways against him, eyes fluttering back into his head. Carlisle clutches at his hips, holds him upright, and continues to drink and drink.

Finally, he pulls away, smoothes his tongue over Alec’s neck to seal the wound.

“Don’t,” the boy breathes, voice shaky and slurred. “Leave it.”

“But—”

“No. It must be convincing.”

He nods, presses his mouth to Alec’s pink lips once more, and he sighs (sleepy and dazed), his small body limp in Carlisle’s arms. His head falls to the side; his eyes drift closed.

“Don’t let me fall.”

“Never.” He lowers the boy to the floor, just as he hears movement on the stairs. Carlisle sweeps his thumb along his jaw, his lips, and Alec moans but does not move. Carlisle knows he’s taken everything he had to give. He is strong (immortal of course), but he will need time to recover. He is helpless now. He will need to be fed.

He presses a last kiss to the corner of the boy’s mouth before moving to the window.

Carlisle slips out just as the door bursts open.

“Alec!” He hears his twin’s high-pitched shriek, as he falls to the street four floors below.

And then he is gone.

 
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Posted by on October 31, 2011 in Halloween Fest

 

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Halloween Fest: To Take Back What is Mine

Author: vampireisthenewblack
Pairing/MC: Carlisle, Edward.
Genre(s): Horror, NM AU.
Wordcount: 500
Prompt/recipient: N/A
Rating: M
Warnings:
Summary: I’ve come to the ancient dungeons beneath Volterra to take back what is mine.
Disclaimer: Not mine.

To Take Back What is Mine

The walls drip with moisture and everything reeks of decay. There’s no one down here but him and me. “Edward?” I call out, hoping he can answer.

I’ve come to the ancient dungeons beneath Volterra to take back what is mine.

This place wasn’t built to hold humans. If the walls are thick enough, and the prisoner is weak enough, a vampire can easily be contained. Edward has been here for months. I thought he was dead, at first. But I can smell him. He’s alive. “Edward?”

I follow the sound of his breathing. Short, sharp inhalations. I get closer, and I can feel him on the other side of the wall.

It’s fifteen feet thick.

“I’ve come to get you, Edward.”

More short, sharp breaths. “Carlisle? Help me.”

“Are you hurt?”

“Help me, Carlisle. Please.” He gasps for air.

I break the lock easily. It takes a little more time to push open the heavy stone slab that serves as a door, and all the while he struggles for breath and begs me to help him.

I’m afraid of what I might find. Some vampires are dismembered, the pieces hung far apart in order to contain them. Left that way for years, even centuries, starving. Never granted the peace of death.

Edward isn’t in pieces. He’s whole. He’s breathtaking. My memory is perfect, yet I can almost believe it flawed because after thinking him dead and gone forever, the mere sight of him, wet and filthy, is so welcome that he is more beautiful than I remember.

He twitches. “Not whole,” he whispers. His eyelids are closed, his face turned away. “Taken apart. Touch me. I see me, but I don’t know if you’re here.”

I move close to where he stands. “I’m here, Edward. You’re safe. Open your eyes.”

Slowly he shakes his head. “Not safe.” He touches one fingertip to his temple. “Not safe in here. Don’t know what’s mine.” He stretches his hand out toward me. “You’re not here. Can’t trust what’s in my mind.”

I take his hand and squeeze it tightly. “I am here. Look at me, Edward.”

Edward laughs and his head rolls on his neck. “Their minds—I hear the depravity in their minds. I see it. All of it. I’m infected by it and I don’t know what’s mine and what’s theirs.” His head turns toward me and he finally opens his eyelids. “They took them,” he says. “I saw Alice and Bella. I watched them die and it was the last thing I saw. Then they took them. I’m not whole. Not beautiful, Carlisle. Not perfect.”

I hold his face in my hands and as I stare into empty sockets a drop of venom falls from each of them. I kiss away the mockery of tears and hold him tightly to me. “You are beautiful, Edward. You’re mine, and I’ve come to take you home.”

Fin

 
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Posted by on October 31, 2011 in Halloween Fest

 

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Review: Getting By, by sadtomato

Getting By, by sadtomato

Summary: Edward and Bella are gone, their families left to deal with crushing grief in their absence. The Cullens have moved away, but Carlisle comes back to Forks to check on Charlie and prevent another tragedy . Grief/Loss. M for Mature Themes but not Lemony.

Carlisle and Charlie certainly isn’t a pairing I’d go looking for by choice. But Getting By is written by sadtomato, and sadtomato is one of those rare AH authors whose fics this anti-AH reader* will run to, no questions asked.

*Yes, I am fully and completely aware that I am a huge hypocrite because I write both AH and also the most bog-standard pairing out there next to E/B. But I write other stuff too, so :p

Sadtomato is also an author who is not afraid to write the less popular pairings either.

Respect.

But I’m getting distracted. Yes, Carlisle and Charlie is a pairing with great potential for squick. sadtomato does it in a way that makes sense in the slightly altered universe she creates.

Getting By is not a story about sex. It’s a story about grief. About loss, and about dealing with that loss. We get to see both sides of this story. Through Charlie we hear what he believes happened to his daughter and her new husband, and then later, through Carlisle we discover what really happened.

It’s Alice who pushes these two men, who have lost something so similar, together.

The pain each of these men feel is palpable in the way sadtomato writes.

I love this version of Carlisle. He drinks with Charlie and admits his family is not okay. He admits that he, himself is not okay. And he says ‘fuck’ 🙂

Vampires can’t get drunk, but by acting that way he loses his inhibitions and allows himself to not be the strong one for a change.

When Carlisle climbs into Bella’s bed in search of the last trace of Edward, I felt his loss keenly.

I lift up the comforter, exposing sheets that haven’t been changed in two years, and I find exactly what I’m looking for.

Edward. It smells like Edward in here. The sheets, and especially the pillow. I crawl on my hands and knees into the bed and bury my face in the bedding, breathing him in. Somehow I end up curled up on my side, clutching the pillow to my face and trying to inhale every trace of Edward’s scent.

This is all that’s left. All that remains, after we cleaned out the house on the Island and moved out of the house in Forks. We still have some of his things-the ones Rosalie didn’t burn-but we’ve all handled them so much that they don’t really smell like Edward anymore.

This is all that I have. And I know it will dissipate now, especially since I’ve disturbed the bedding. I know that someday Charlie willcome in here and clean things out, or he’ll sell the house and someone else will do it.

This is my only chance. I hold the pillow tighter, gasping and taking great, heaving breaths. I miss him so much. He was my brother, my friend, myson, and I’ll never see him again. He just left me without giving me a chance to say goodbye.

I lie there for hours, just breathing.

I tell myself I’ll get up when I’ve had enough, but I realize around two in the morning that I’ll never have enough. I whisper my goodbyes to the last trace of Edward left on Earth-I tell him that I miss him, and I’m sorry, and I love him.

Awwwww 😦 Stop me before I get all gushy about Edward and Carlisle 😉

So why does this qualify as a slash story? Because when Carlisle wakes Charlie from a nightmare, they take comfort in each other. It’s not graphic, it’s not romantic. It’s desperate and confusing and scary and you grit your teeth and feel kind of mortified for Carlisle and what is happening to him.

The desperation and surrender with which these two men come together is ridiculously hot. And even though they only have one orgasm between them and no clothing is ever removed, this is easily one of the most erotic sex scenes I’ve read in twislash.

It’s hot, and it’s real, and it fits. It’s not a sex scene slotted into a story for kicks. This gritty realness gives me story orgasms. True story. (Not really, but you know what I mean.) sadtomato never steps past the point of believability. This is something I strive for in my own stories, something I expect from the fics I read. Possibility. Authenticity. Reality. sadtomato brings us such an unlikely pairing and makes it completely believable.

One of the most interesting things sadtomato does in this story is the way she deals with bloodlust. This here is why I’m into vampfic. The desire of a vampire for the blood of his human lover is the very basis for Twilight and so many other vampire/human romances. It’s why I love the vampire genre, and it is the thing I hope to find in any vampire/human pairing. And I was very pleased to find it here where with Carlisle as a character it had to be handled well (or not at all).

I’m so glad sadtomato wrote a vampfic because she is truly one of my favourite twific authors and I’m so pleased to be able to write a VampSlash review on one of her works. I’m hoping like hell she decides to write some more vampfic in the future.

For the Halloween Fest, perhaps? How’s that for a challenge? 😉

 
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Posted by on October 17, 2011 in Reviews, Vamp Slash

 

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VampSlash Roundup in SBS 3.0

There were an impressive 48 entries in the Slash Backslash 3.0 Contest, and 7 of those were vampy or wolfy.  That seems low, but it’s a full 15%!  That said, I know all of us here at the VampSlash blog would love to see even more next year. 🙂

This is just a quick listing of all of the Vamp/Wolf slash in SBS 3.0 plus a bit of my thoughts. If you haven’t read these, you’re really missing out.

A Light Exists in Spring by shoefreak37
Pairing: Edward/Mike
Word Count: 9,999
Summary: The Volturi find a new prospect in Forks. “All I know is, I think I’m gay for Edward Cullen, and in two days I’m supposed to die.”
Awards/Mentions: Reader’s Choice winner, Judge’s Choice winner
My thoughts: I admit I’ve never been a huge Mike fan, but this story turned that around. I’m not sure I have words to describe the poetry of this story. Go read vampireisthenewblack’s review. She says it better than I could.

Devil’s Spawns by TwLiGhTeD-sLaSh
Pairing: Jasper/Edward
Word Count: 9,998
Summary: “It’s official,” Carlisle said as realization set in. “Our newborns are the devil’s spawns sent down to torment us…” Human to Vamp slash J/Ed and Em/Jacob.
My thoughts: At this point in my slash-reading “career” one of the best things I can say about a J/E story is that it’s different. This one definitely falls into that category. Toss out your expectations and preconceived notions, because this won’t meet any of them. It’s categorized as “humor” and it fits that as well, though I did find it a bit over the top at times. Be aware that the author takes some serious liberties with canon, and pay attention to the warnings in the author’s note.

First Taste of Forever by bmango
Pairing: Jasper/Edward
Word Count: 8,788
Summary: Jasper escapes Maria’s army and heads north, looking for a change. In Chicago, he meets an unusual vampire who teaches him a different way to life and, by a a twist of fate, to finally feel.
Awards/Mentions: Judges’ Choice finalist
My thoughts: I adore Jasper in this one. His thoughts, his actions, his everything. It’s a fresh Jasper to me, but nothing is out of character. This is a great E/J pairing, unlike many others I’ve read. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

It Happened at the DriveIn by SqueakyZorro
Pairing: Carlisle/Edward
Word Count: 7,343
Summary: After centuries alone, Carlisle changed Edward, hoping for companionship… and more. How does Edward react to Carlisle’s true desires? Will his fears keep them apart, or can two vampires find happiness together?
My thoughts: I loved that Edward was so canon here, painfully so, with his overthinking and refusing to listen to anyone older and wiser, despite their age and wisdom. And I loved Carlisle’s also canon patience and understanding. The fact that their… er… relations take place at a drive-in movie theater? Yes, please!

Legacy of the Spirit Warrior by ArcadianMaggie
Pairing: Edward/Jacob
Word Count: 9,900
Summary: The night of the newborn attack, Jacob uses his shapeshifting ability to protect the ones he loves, changing their fates forever. Contains mpreg. See warnings.
Awards/Mentions: Reader’s Choice finalist, Judges’ Choice finalist
My thoughts: Don’t let the mpreg scare you away, this story is absolutely gorgeous. Jacob’s love for Edward is palpable, and the story is more about his love than the pregnancy. Spirit Warrior hits the main points of all four of the Saga books but in a completely new and different, but oddly-believable, way. Incredibly well-written.

Teach Me by EdwardsMate4Ever
Pairing: Jasper/Edward
Word Count: 4,248
Summary: Edward is a 90 year old virgin whose human girlfriend wants him to make love to her. He is overcome with performance anxiety – can Jasper help ease his fears?
My thoughts: Pretty classic Edward/Jasper could-almost-be-canon vampslash. Good use of Jasper’s gift to heighten and affect Edward’s experience. I just wish we could’ve gotten a bottom!Jasper.

Walking Away by PolkaDotMama
Pairing: E/?
Word Count: 9,938
Summary: A chance encounter pierces Edward, opening him to new knowledge about himself. He walks away, searching for comfort and a way to fill the void he feels. Will he find his way back to the only person who can truly fulfill him?
Awards/Mentions: Reader’s Choice finalist
My thoughts: Another beautiful entry. I don’t want to spoil the pairing, but I’ll just say that it was perfect and natural. Edward’s growth in this story is tremendous, and I found myself actually respecting him, which is not something I normally think when reading fic. I really enjoyed this one.

 
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Posted by on October 11, 2011 in Fandom Events

 

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Review: In Between by avioleta

In Between by avioleta

Summary: In 1927, Edward leaves.

In case you haven’t seen the results of the VampSlash Contest, In Between was voted Best non-Edward/Jasper and, as decided by the impartial scoring of our wonderful Judges, the First Place winner overall.

At first glance, In Between might look like your basic “Edward and Carlisle are more-than-just-companions/Carlisle changes Esme/Carlisle marries Esme/Edward leaves in an act of rebellion” story. I strongly urge you to look further. With just a few minor tweaks, avioleta turns this pairing and their story on its side.

First of all, Esme will not marry Carlisle. She says that it’s because her first marriage was horrible and cruel, but it seems clear to me that it’s because she knows Carlisle prefers and pines for Edward.

Then, Edward isn’t plagued with guilt and doubt about his decisions. Instead, he believes his actions to be completely justified and, like a petulant child, blames them on his “father:”

“They deserve it, Carlisle. They always deserve it.[…] Never would have thought it of me, hmm?” The boy’s voice was cold, dispassionate.

No remorse…

“No. No remorse, Carlisle. No regret or guilt for what I’ve done.” He looked up, bloodied eyes dark. “Does that disturb you? This child of thine?”

How could you…how can you?

“I know, right?” And Edward laughed again. He watched Carlisle steadily; his expression was cool, calculating. “You wanted me to leave, Carlisle. […] This is what you wanted, isn’t it? What else did you expect?”

There’s even a hint of vamp-Carlisle and human-Edward:

Carlisle’s perfect memory recalled a scene many years before when he’d presented himself in the same way. Only then, he could hear the wild thrum of his heart, beating too fast, belying his calm.

Personally, I’d love to see the scene that Carlisle is remembering there. (Hint, hint.)

If you have seen the results of the VampSlash Contest, you know that this was also mynameisserendipity’s and my pick as a Host’s Choice. One of the reasons it was my favorite is that it gave Edward’s rebellious years meaning in a context greater than that of just the Twilight mythology. Interspersed throughout the narrative are headlines and snippets of news stories from the late 1920s about famous (or infamous) crimes. The implication, confirmed about halfway through the story, is that the crimes (murders) are not the direct result of gang violence or mafia activity, but of Edward.

The other thing that I particularly liked here was the fact that it’s honestly more about Carlisle than it is about Edward’s rebellious years. Sure, Edward is off on his canon-dictated murderous walkabout, but In Between is really a spotlight on how Carlisle’s world falls apart because he denies Edward and denies himself.

I think mynameisserendipity and I are the last people in the fandom to discover avioleta, but in case there’s even one other person out there who hasn’t read her, I have to make a mention of her other work even though it’s not vampslash (can you believe this was her first???). Everything in its Right Place was heartbreakingly beautiful, and A Cinderella Story is my new bedtime favorite. And of course, you must read Stay from the Slash/Backslash 2.0 contest. She writes Carlisle and Edward with such elegance and passion, and I can’t possibly do it justice here.

 
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Posted by on July 19, 2011 in Contest, Reviews, Vamp Slash

 

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